Petition to make really bad tasting nail polish so I can stop biting my nails I was doing so well until I got acclimatized to the taste.

Honestly I should just pry apart the cat ear one and figure a way to rewire it onto the regular one. I have a degree, I'll probably electrocute myself like, three times. Tops.

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See I have two sets of headphones. One is comfy and good but looks like a brick. The other sucks but is cat ears. My current compromise is the wear the former, turn on the latter and imagine I'm wearing that instead.

Today on unexpected HRT effects: "huh my eyelids are really soft"

3am chats be like "may you be as cleansed and sinless as a cooked pot of rice".

I have acquired an oversized dice plush which now sits on my desk and occasionally pretends to be a boob while I read/type.

If vaccines shed viruses how has my air filter not gotten COVID?

checkmate theists.

Listening to FFXIV raid music while cleaning and ofc Exponential Entropy comes on when I'm mopping.

"~forward and back and forward and back and forward and back and one step forward~"

Thought: what if Big Sugar is run by vampires who just want sweeter tasting blood.

Drugs are bad because they make the blood taste all funny.

Tobacco was this trend in the 30s that vampire people today are sick of, like how you eventually stopped eating glue as a kid.

...you did stop eating glue yes?

In lighter news my catgirl botanist has a lore friendly FFXIV name for RP purposes but in my head she's called Watermelon.

The difference the internet makes to our lives feels like the difference between watching the world move and being left behind.

Kill Fuck Marry should really be Fuck Marry Goals.

i.e. "Better than I expected considering the amount of effort put into it"

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These spicy Mee siam noodles were made from:

1) Amazon delivered chinese-brand spicy gravy packet
2) chunks of mock seafood sticks pretending to be what they aren't
3) leftover slightly overpriced stir fry from the festival two nights ago that I never finished
4) miso paste as a cross-cultural substitute for the Chinese fermented bean paste my mum advised I add
5) a duck egg I bought cause they were out of chicken eggs

Really, a metaphor for my life.

If you think about it Pokemon was basically a failed attempt at convincing a generation of NEETs to go outside and hit the gym.

PokemonGo on the other hand...

IIRC there's a Japanese superstition that if a pregnant woman eats lots of meat it encourages the birth of a boy. If it's vegetables its a girl.

My mother drank a ton of coca-cola so...???

Honestly can't tell if my players are the thirsty ones or I'm the thirsty one for enabling them.

Well since I'm tooting dnd:.

Me: "ah yes the monster you seek has three yellowed eyes and tentacles of shadow..."

Also Me: "the tall blacksmith lady grabs the glowing warforged armplate with a pair of tongs and sticks it into the trough. Steam cascades off the water, dripping off her toned bare arms."
Players but especially that one hobgoblingirl: "tell me more."

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