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Pinned toot

Broke: Parks and Recreation is a comedy because it's funny
Woke: Parks and Recreation is a tragedy because of Leslie Knope's sisyphean struggles to make change within a community mired by apathy
Bespoke: Parks and Recreation is a comedy because it demonstrates the absurdity of neoliberalism and the comic frustrations of its proponents when their ideology inevitably fails to connect with the working class

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Throwback to when I was 12 and was throwing water balloons at passing cars due to boredom and I hit one in the windshield and it almost crashed and the lady driving the car got out and she was super mad and said she was going to tell my parents and I lied and said they weren't home, so she made me give her their number and I just gave her the number of a car dealership from a commercial that was always on, and she got back in her car and drove away and I don't think my parents ever found out

Fuck I have a scab on my tongue because I bit it so hard and yeah it feels about as gross as you'd expect

AH FUCK I SHOULD HAVE SAID "I lived bitch" Everyone, pretend I said "I lived bitch"

im never afraid to post takes because i am always correct and never wrong

┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we only
▔▏┗┛▕▔ play
Conway Twitty - Slow Hand
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲

anyone here like that song Poison by Bell Biv DeVoe

As the midnight moon
Was driftin' through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes
Looking in to the night
Not seeing what you wanted to see

Darlin', don't say a word,
I've already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine,
You're tired of fast moves
You've got a slow groove,
On your miiind

You want a man with a postin' hand
You want a lover with an easy touch
You want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
Baby, believe me I understand
When it comes to love, you want a postin' hand

the discourse 

*creaky old prospector voice* its the end of the road for Ol' Minecraft Dick!

My new thing is that now I say "Baby, Bubula!!!!!!" to everyone

no such thing as bad publicity babey. I'm a household name now. I'm trending on Twitter. Im gonna be on Joe Rogan next week.

It was just like that movie and yes I did wind up having to cut my arm off. I did that within the first 30 minutes, the next 45 and a half hours were spent learning how to type left-handed

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Anyway, time to tie up some loose ends

In retrospect I probably should probably not have been so stubborn and escalated the situation but I did and I was and that's that I guess. Not much I can do about it now but apologize and try and walk it back.

Also, I'm not King Arbiter of What People Can Do! Definitely shouldn't have been such a cop about it. Cops are bad. Don't be a cop kids. Learn from my mistakes.

I can't believe not one of you came to my aid during the 48 hours I got my posting arm stuck in the toilet

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